Today is my birthday, I am now the same age my mother was when she gave birth to me. A moment to remember both the beauty of mother’s and how they shepherd us into the physical world with love, devotion and strength. So this day I not only think of her, on the cusp of Mother’s Day, but I also think of the embodiment of her now as a 33 year old woman. As I witness my own fragility and uncertainty, I stand in awe of her ability to be a woman who lived with the questions and the dreams and made it all mean something for the beautiful 64 years she blessed me and this earth.
I am still in a sea of re-grounding, but I am coming to see grief not just an emblematic of my heartspace, but deeply informing my purpose for my remaining days. Grief is so intangible, gentle, raw, and indecipherable. It is a magnet, a blossom, a butterfly and a storm all at once. And with practice and devotion, it can be something that adds beauty to each and every one of our lives.
I do not have the answers, but I am learning to find safety in the questions. And for now, that is more than enough. I a learning how my grief, is about my mother, but the energy and framework of grief is that of a maternal makeup as well. Grief asks us, or rather sometimes rather demands us, to be still, to be gentle, to do less, to feel more…grief gives us permission to set down performance and come into presence. Just as mother soothes and nurtures, grief speaks to us, “you are safe to be here, you can hold this.” To be with our feelings in the heartspace independently is a gateway that grief governs us through. It matures us to find a sacred resilience that positions us back to the infinite sentient hum that ebbs through all of us, support us and guides us. None of this is easy, but it sure is remarkable, humbling and if done with the fortitude of our ancestors, our faith and our heart…creates a lasting resonance in the heart that is forever changed.
Thank you for being an outlet for my heart and my journey.
If you’d like to practice with me in the sacred space and spirit of grief and her medicine,
please join me at any of the following times:
5/6 free virtual meditation class
5/10 grief garden support group
5/13 free virtual meditation class
5/17 grief garden support group
5/20 free virtual meditation class
be kind - be real - be true - be you
All my love and gratitude.
As above, so below,
Rae
